Almost
by DimiGex
Summary: Sakura was beauty and passion and life; Kakashi was pain and regret and shadow. He could only dim her vibrancy and he loved her too much to do that. So Kakashi held himself away, aching at not being able to touch her and loving her despite it.


**Rating:** T

 **Words:** 1,000

 **Pairing:** Kakashi/Sakura

 **Warnings** : The feels are coming, character death, angst, unfulfilled love, did I mention feels?

 **Authors Note:** This is for Kakasaku Week 2016 on Tumblr, the prompt is was Warmth. I also had a challenge to write a story in a thousand words or less that could break a heart. I think I succeeded and should probably apologize. But not all feels are bad? If it makes you feel better I made myself sad too. Read, review, request, all those things.

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Late evening sunlight filtered through the trees, dappling the ground with golden shadows. Kakashi lay on his back, letting his thoughts wander. They felt heavy and muddled. The scent of cherry blossoms hung heavy in the air, overwhelming his senses. Breathing deeply, he opened his eyes and was surprised to find a familiar face above his.

Sakura was beautiful, her features gilded by the setting sun. Pink hair fluttered around her face, brushing against her forehead until she tucked it behind one ear. Kakashi reached toward Sakura, wanting to trace the beautiful perfection of her cheekbones, but the sleep haze made movement difficult. His heart skipped a beat as her emerald eyes skimmed over the visible portion of his face. _Don't think about it_ , Kakashi thought desperately. Sakura was his former student, even if those days were nearly ten years gone now.

After the war, when Sasuke left her heartbroken at the gate, Sakura had changed. Kakashi had realized then, that she had grown the most of his former students. The awareness hadn't come immediately; it had been subtle, like the sun rising during final watch. Darkness faded to charcoal, and before it was even noticeable, pale rays were filtering through the clouds as morning arrived. In the same way, Kakashi had been in love before he'd realized he was falling.

"Hey, Kakashi," Sakura murmured, touching his cheek. Until her warm fingers brushed his skin, Kakashi hadn't known he was cold.

Sakura crouched down and for a moment, the desire to take her into his arms overwhelmed Kakashi. He wanted to run his fingers through her hair, kiss her, whisper that he loved her. In all the years since he'd known, Kakashi had never once surrendered to the temptation to tell her. There had been hundreds of almosts. The first time had been when she'd come to his office, eyes shining, to gush about saving a patient that the other medics had written off. She'd been so delightfully alive that he'd almost wrapped her in his arms and kissed her. Instead, Kakashi had maintained his distance.

When Sasuke broke her heart, Kakashi had held Sakura against his chest as she sobbed, finally accepting that the two of them would never work out. He wanted to tell her that she was too beautiful to cry over such an idiot, but Kakashi maintained his stoic silence, even when she tried to kiss him.

Sakura hadn't wanted Kakashi, she wanted someone to fill the ache Sasuke left in her heat. Kakashi had refused as gently as possible. Afterward, she'd been embarrassed, but he dismissed her apology with an eye-smile and said that he had no idea what she was talking about. She'd accepted his lie, and they fell back into an easy rhythm of friendship.

Naruto's wedding, Boruto's birth, dozens of other memories flashed through Kakashi's mind. Each one a time that he almost revealed he was in love with Sakura. And each time, the words died in his throat as Kakashi reminded himself that she deserved more than he could offer. Sakura was beauty and passion and life; Kakashi was pain and regret and shadow. He could only dim her vibrancy and he loved her too much to do that. So Kakashi held himself away, aching at not being able to touch her and loving her despite it.

"Open your eyes, Kakashi." Even though he wanted to sleep, Kakashi obeyed; he could never deny Sakura anything. Her eyes filled his vision, the green reminiscent of the leaves that gave Konoha its name. They were home, his home, the one he could never have. Kakashi realized Sakura was still talking, but he'd missed too many of the words to make sense of what she was saying. "-saved you. Why didn't you wait for me?"

"I always waited for you," Kakashi mumbled, surprised at how hard the words were to force around the lump in his throat. "Always."

Sakura's mouth fell open and Kakashi finally got his hand to cooperate, raising it to caress her cheek. Her skin felt like fire, or maybe it was his that felt like ice, Kakashi couldn't tell the difference anymore. Maintaining the contact was too difficult, and his touch dropped away. Kakashi fingers left behind a trail of crimson on her porcelain skin. He felt distant pain as Sakura pressed against his stomach and chest. "I don't have any chakra left," Sakura's voice trembled.

Memory crept back: battle, screaming, and pain. He'd been too far away, and even though she was here now, it was too late. Kakashi realized that it wasn't Sakura's weight against his chest that made it hard to breath, but the blood in his lungs. He wondered if it hurt to die, but the pain in Sakura's eyes hurt more than his injuries. All Kakashi wanted was to tell her that it was going to be okay, but he couldn't form the words. He breathed wetly, hating the taste of blood mixing with the sweetness of her name in his mouth.

Kakashi knew he was dying. His only regret was that he'd wasted so much time, and now there was none left. Kakashi wanted to tell Sakura that he loved her, would always love her, but it didn't matter now. He couldn't add to the pain already filling her eyes. The world grew dark around the edges until Sakura was the only thing Kakashi could see. Somehow, that eased the pain, and numbed the fear of stepping from this life.

Sakura brushed Kakashi's forehead, pushing silver hair out of the way, and leaned down to kiss it. He closed his eyes, struggling to draw another breath as her warm tears splashed onto his cheeks. He wanted to tell Sakura not to cry, tell her that she would be fine, but he couldn't.

Sakura tugged his mask down, tears flowing freely as she pressed her lips to his. "You can't die, Kakashi. I love you" Sakura whispered.

Kakashi exhaled her name with his final breath.


End file.
